Make it a rule never to utter one word of doubt or discouragement. You can do much to brighten the life of others and strengthen their efforts, by words of hope and holy cheer. {Ellen G. White, Steps to Christ 119}
Our words have tremendous power to discourage or encourage others, to create doubt or hope, to bring sadness or joy. We may think we’re venting our souls to friends and thus unloading our burdens before those we love and trust, but we may be inadvertently placing a burden on them which could weigh them down, if not crush them.
I think there is a time to speak with others, however, and that’s when we grieve and have sorrow as a result of a loss or pain. During an illness, following the loss of a loved one, or during a time of crisis, it is important that we not bottle inside us the feelings we have but that we share them with a trusted friend or loved one. Above all, we can unload our burden in prayer to God. Ellen White, in the same paragraph quoted above, writes, “All have trials; griefs hard to bear, temptations hard to resist. Do not tell your troubles to your fellow mortals, but carry everything to God in prayer.” Our God has bigger shoulders than any and all our friends or loved ones, and He’s not weighed down or bothered with our pain or sorrow. But I also understand that sometimes the human touch is a wonderful healing balm for those whose soul is parched due to pain and grief. Talk your pain and grief out, first of all with God, and then with a trusted friend or loved one, but be careful not to place on them a burden that will cause them to be weighed down, to stumble, or to fall.
Used by permission of Adventist Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
